‘Right to Girlfriend Act’ on the cards!

Posted by: N D Sharma on: June 26, 2012

In: Uncategorized
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This piece has been sent by a friend who claims to have accessed, through hallucinatory processes, confidential files of the UPA government:

A day after the Union cabinet cleared the Food Security Bill, the UPA Government announced its decision to also table the ‘Right to Girlfriend’ Bill in the current session of Parliament. Purported to be Rahul Gandhi’s brainchild, the concomitant scheme titled ‘Rajiv Gandhi Girlfriend Yojana’ (RAGGY) will guarantee a girlfriend for 100 days a year to every Indian unmarried male below 45 years of age.

“Why should only some guys have all the fun? Social nerds, book-worms, tech-geeks, or even out-and-out losers have a fundamental right to a girlfriend!” roared Rahul Gandhi during an election rally in Amethi while unveiling the Bill’s salient features, drawing wolf whistles and thunderous applause from the assembled crowd.

According to the proposed scheme, a youth can register with his local Gram Panchayat Mukhiya or Municipal Ward Councillor and demand a girlfriend for a specified period of time. The Government in turn has to provide a girlfriend to the beneficiary within 15 days, failing which the beneficiary will be compensated at the rate of Rs. 200 per day for the duration of the agonizing wait.

For the purpose of estimating the number of beneficiaries, the Planning Commission has defined the Below Frustration Line (BFL) as any normal, unmarried, single Indian male between 18 and 28 who has answered ‘frustrated’ to the NSSO survey question ‘How do you feel about not having a babe?’

Congress leader Digvijay Singh has welcomed the proposed scheme and said that the government has the complete support of the party. “Once again, Rahulji has taken up a secular issue that resonates with all Indian male youth cutting across religious, social, and economic barriers,” he said. “Even if RAGGY delivers half of what it promises, Rahulji will have cemented his reputation as India’s youth icon,” said the veteran Congress leader. Diggy however vehemently rejected suggestions that Rahul might have any vested interest behind this scheme.